My Heart, Your Home: Boo Boo ~ 19 weeks   

Monday, 3 February 2014

Boo Boo ~ 19 weeks

If I look tired and unimpressed, that would be because I am, in a major way. Yesterday I spent the afternoon sitting on the ground with the girls watching their Daddy playing cricket and today I have been barely able to stand or walk. I have been in a world of pain but I am hoping that tonight will bring a full nights sleep and tomorrow, a better day.

I cannot be grateful enough that besides this hiccup, the pregnancy has been truly easy. They say that boys are much more gentle on their Mothers baby, so far, I would completely agree. I have had headaches, sure, but no where near as bad as Zalia's. I was morning sick, sure, but not nearly as long or as bad as Evelyn's. My hair is healthy, my skin is clear, my body is strong. This boy is loving is Mummy already.

This last week we obviously had our scan where we were told that BooBoo is a boy. I can't truly describe the feelings I felt at the time as they were extremely overwhelming. But I can say that I was elated. I squealed and turned to Anthony and I cried. We embraced each other and kissed and I believe that in that moment we both felt complete. Like we knew that this was moment was the beginning of the rest of our lives. 

Anthony is ecstatic to know he will be having a Son. His dreams of playing cricket and rugby with his boy were filled in that one instant. Dreams of teaching his boy the secrets of men. Passing down his name. That manly bond. All the things that every man secretly desires. His love of his girls will never falter, or never differ, but now he gets to experience the bond between man and son. Like I experience Woman and Daughter. 

My dreams of seeing what our little boy will look like will be fulfilled. Experiencing that unwavering love and admiration a Son has for his Mother. Seeing the difference between my Daughters and my Son, girls and boys. Dreams of experiencing both sides of the gender wheel, having both sides of the conversation of life. Watching my Son grow to marry his wife, treat her like I have taught him teach a woman. Shaping him to be soft, gentle, caring, empathetic and respectful. The type of man his Father is. 

While we both would have been just as fullfilled with another Daughter, the moment we found out we were having a Son was just... different. Nerve racking, exciting, confusing, overwhelming and simply amazing.

Going into the scan I was concerned that there may have been an issue with BooBoo as my body hasn't grown as much as it had with Zalia. I was worried that he might not have been growing and gaining weight. But he is perfectly healthy and is measuring a few days behind date, but completely normal. 

This week has been filled with nothing other than preparing to move out the baby pinks and move in the baby blues. Thinking about boys names. Imagining the shift in the atmosphere in our home. Dreaming of the love between Sisters and Brother. Dreaming of matchbox cars, soccer balls and diggers. It has been a week of changing the dreams of my future for this sweet child, from a future of building a woman and her self image and confidence, to building a man with dignity and respect. 

I am filled with delight

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