My Heart, Your Home: Human compassion is at an all time low   

Monday, 19 November 2012

Human compassion is at an all time low

image from here

Last week, after I wrote a post about how much I love Anthony we ended up in an argument. It was one of those arguments that aren't about much at all, but that repeat themselves throughout your entire relationship. This particular argument turned into a fight. That went for hours and it truly broke me for a while. It made me break down on my knees and cry, the most rejuvenating but heartbreaking cry. The type of cry that you would expect to hear from a young child. Uncontrollable and inconsolable sobs and screams of pain. The type of cry that leaves you with nothing but the need to sleep for the next 12 hours, holding on tight to your teddy. 

In the end, I think I needed that cry. My hormones and my emotions have been completely out of control and I have been feeling desperate and anxious. I have been feeling irritable within my own skin and lost within my own life. I have been feeling very lonely and craving something. What, I am not sure. But all those emotions have just been swirling around within me and I have had no release. Until last Tuesday night, when I collapsed on my kitchen floor and I cried them all away.

The next morning I was determined to not let the events of the night before affect my day. So I got up and created a spring in my step. I danced with my Daughter and built up her excitement for a morning out and about. We piled into the car and sang songs to each. I called my Sister and organised a visit to see her and the kids. On the way I needed to fill the car with petrol and get some money out for coffees. So I pull into my usual petrol station. I open the back door so that I can sing and play with Evelyn while filling up the car. I was still feeling so very emotional but I was going to make this day, a good day. Evelyn was playing with her beloved football happily in the back of the car when she dropped the ball and it consequently fell out of the car and landed right between the back wheels. 

As I was closing up the tank a car drove in and parked behind me, waiting for his turn at the bowser. I am not sure how or why, but I felt a vibe. I felt like I needed to rush inside to keep the stranger in the car happy. Is it possible for someone to seep so much anger that a stranger can feel that coming from within them, even when not in the same space?

I did a quick check to see if I could reach the ball and worked out that was just not going to happen. So I ran inside to pay. I got my can of coke and went up to the counter, there was no queue or wait, I paid instantly. Then remembering I forgot to get my money out, I dashed over to the ATM and retrieved the cash and ran outside to my car. Not truly understanding why I was so desperate to be fast, the stranger in the car would not have been sitting there for even five minutes.

I threw my things into my car and walked up to the strangers door. I politely tried to explain to him that my Daughters ball is beneath my car and would he please mind waiting just a moment so that I can move the car and gather the ball. The man, however, did not want to hear a word I had to say and proceeded to yell profanities at me. About how I had made him wait while I f**ked around inside. About how this was the only diesel tank. About how he needed to be at work. About how I need to move my f**king car. He then swiftly wound his window up and left me standing there, in shock, trying to process what had just unfolded before me. 

I looked to the man at the bowser next to me for some recognition that what had just happened was completely out of control. I looked to him for a shrug, or a concerned smile, something that said I did not just imagine that man's barrage of abuse. But that man swiftly looked away from me. 

Did that just happen?

I got back in my car and I moved it a metre up so that I could get my Daughter's beloved ball. I put it in park and looked in the mirror to find that the angry stranger had moved his car up with me. Only inches away from the back of my car, parked right over the top of that damn ball. I could not believe it. My adrenalin was pumping, fear was running through my veins. As I got out of the car that angry stranger muttered all sorts of swear words under his breath and turned his back on me. So, as I walked towards his car I said:

"Thanks for making a pregnant woman crawl beneath your car you arsehole!"

I swear, for just one brief moment, he was about to turn into a decent human being. It looked as though he was about to apologise and tell me that he did not realise. But he continued down his road of true arsehole and he says to me:

"well you made me wait you little bitch"

So, I ended up beneath the mans ute, on my hands and knees, trying to retrieve my Daughter's goddamn ball. She was screaming in the back of the car, I was crying and then man was standing there, all high and mighty. How dare I fill my car up at the only bowser that sells diesel. How dare I make him late for work. How dare I expect other humans to have any decency to treat each other with compassion and respect. How dare I be SO rude!

At what point did our own precious time become more important that human compassion? At what point did we all fall into such a fast pace that we cannot help each other, cannot lend a helping hand. In what world am I raising my Daughter that a man of 60+ years thinks that it is okay to treat a young woman with such distaste and appallingly bad behaviour. When did it become okay for him to scare a woman. A woman with a baby in the car. A woman with a baby in her belly. When did our world fall to such lows? When did decent human compassion disappear? How was he okay to watch a pregnant woman crawl beneath his car while he stood there, pride in his stance and anger in his heart.

I worry about the world that I am living in. I worry about my Daughter's generation. In a world that is only becoming more and more busy and full we are starting to lose sight of what is truly important. What is important is to love and care for each other. Be nice to each other. Support and nourish each other. No one should ever have to feel the fear and the hurt that I felt as I crawled away from his car and I cried for the rest of the day. No one should ever take such pleasure in making someone feel so much pain. What hope do our children have, of becoming compassionate adults, if our adults are acting like heartless children?



24 comments:

  1. My husband was abused at a petrol station for getting our three children out of the car to go inside and pay. The man in the car who was swearing at him in front of our children was the supervising passenger for his L plate son! I was horrified that he thought it was OK to not only swear in front of my children, but to also set such an appalling example for his son, who was just learning how to be a responsible citizen on the roads. On the other hand, I have been lucky enough to encounter countless numbers of kind and compassionate strangers over time, that I like to think that the rude and selfish ones are rare.

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    1. What happened to your husband and what happened to me last week are perfect examples of why I dont want to get my Daughter out of the car at a petrol station. People place way too much importance on their precious time and they forget how to behave in an appropriate manner. I think my Daughter is safer in the car, than out, with people like that getting around!

      I have definitely encountered kind and compassionate strangers too but lately it seems there are more arseholes than flowers. I cannot understand how someone can behave so cruelly.

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  2. Oh. My. Gosh... i literally just read that with my mouth hanging open. what disgusting, disgusting behaviour.I am so so sorry that you had to go through that AND that no one even shared your concern, let alone helped you or stuck up for you. xx

    #teamIBOT

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    1. I was in absolute shock watching it unfold before me lyndal. I just cannot believe that people like that exist!
      And the other man, I guess his concern was his own safety rather than that of another person. We seem to be slowly forgetting about looking after each other x

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  3. Oh Jess, you poor girl, that must have been horrible :(
    I couldn't agree more, people are just arseholes. There's very little compassion and common decency. And with encounters like this, how can anyone wonder why we're so skeptical of people we meet?
    I remember once I realised I was in the wrong lane and quickly indicated and moved over so I could turn into a petrol station. There was a man driving with his wife and kids in the lane I cut into and he was speeding. He was so pissed off that I cut in front of him that he chased me into the servo screaming abuse at me. He didn't even need to be at the servo, he only stopped there to yell at me. Parked his wife and kids at the door while he chased me. We were lucky though, the man who worked at the service station ushered me inside and stood in front of me, not letting the psycho pass. Eventually the psycho left and I was very thankful for that servo worker!

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    1. Oh my goodness Kelly! How desperate and angry can one man be?
      And to do that in front of his wife and kids... they must have been just so proud of him! How horrible, that would completely destroy me! Thank god for that worker, how lovely of him to make sure that you were safe!
      xx

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  4. You poor thing, this post bought tears to my eyes, how dare anybody treat someone so poorly. There is a lack of common courtesy and politeness in our world, its disgusting! I hope you have found your smile again, and everything is looking better xx
    Found you via #IBOT

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    1. I have definitely found my smile again but I do have trouble thinking about it without getting upset.
      It is just so shockingly unbelievable!
      x

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  5. That is just hideous! I don't think anyone has the right to behave in such a manner, even more appalling that the petrol attendant didn't really give a toss!
    I don't get why anyone has such a sense of self importance. How hard is it to show a little compassion for what others are going though.
    via #ibot

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    1. Exactly my thoughts!?
      What made him think he was that much more important?
      I will never know
      x

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  6. OMG what a horrible story! Why are people so angry and mean?? I used to get really upset by people like this and after almost having a breakdown from anxiety I started to change my thinking. Now when someone is unjustly angry or rude towards me I think, "Imagine waking up and being like that every day of your life". It really helps to not take other people shit on board.

    I am sorry that you had to go through this, it is so wrong when adults behave badly.

    Via #IBOT

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    1. I am currently trying to do the same and change my thinking also... I am tired of letting other peoples drama's become my own. I will get there one day
      xx

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  7. Oh gosh that is just awful you poor thing. Sending some fairy wishes and butterfly kisses in your direction

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  8. I felt sick in my stomach reading this post. We have all had nights like that one and you woke with such high hopes only to have a selfish asshole cut them down.
    It just comes down to one thing. Respect. Imagine if another man spoke to this one's mother or wife like that.

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    1. I wonder if a man like that could have a wife? And would she be proud of him and the way he acts? Or is this usual behaviour? Who knows but what a miserable life he must lead to carry that anger around with him
      xx

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  9. I am angered that you had to experience the horrid ness of that man, human compassion has definitely reached a low as everyone is so rushed and crowded but that is no excuse for that kind of behaviour at all. If I had been witness to this I would've got that ball out for you :)

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    1. That is exactly it Stacey-Lee! We are all too busy living our own lives that we forget that their are other people in our world! But it definitely isnt an excuse... it is not that hard to be kind to each other.
      Thank you for virtually getting my ball :)
      xx

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  10. It's appalling how much hate there is in the world. Everyone has become so busy and I find I have to catch myself when I start to become one of them. I hope that you are feeling ok now and that they crying did you some good xx

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    1. We are all guilty of letting ourselves get wrapped up in it... but as long as we catch ourselves before we treat others so badly then it really isnt so bad. I just cannot ever imagine myself talking to someone like that. I hope that I never do and I always remember how bad it made me feel
      The crying did me wonders!
      xx

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  11. Oh Jess this is absolutely disgusting! What a miserable man!
    So sorry you had to endure that.

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    1. Thanks Jess! It really was disgusting. What a horrible horrible man
      xx

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  12. That's so horrible, obviously he should have left for work earlier and you became the scapegoat for his inability to organize himself.....here's hoping he gets his comeuppance! Thankfully though there are still many compassionate people, it's just that the bad ones are usually really bad!

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    1. I just hope that in that little moment where he looked like he felt bad he took note of the situation he had just forced upon me and when he drove away he was ashamed of himself. Thats the only thing I want for him, to be embarrassed!

      There are a lot of compassionate people in the world, you are right. And I like to think I am one of them. The problem though is that the bad ones make the good ones too afraid to show it in fear of how their recipient may react!!

      Hopefully the christmas spirit takes over everyones bad moods soon enough
      xx

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