Merry Christmas

In the lead up to Christmas, through out Christmas and even in the two days since Christmas I really haven't had the moment to come here and to express my gratitude to you. So today, as I sit on the balcony over looking Avoca lake, I am taking that moment. 

I have been running this blog for just over four months and in that time I have "met" some truly wonderful woman... fellow bloggers and beautiful readers. People whom I actually considered to be friends. Yes, I may not know them "in real life", but the thing is, this blog and the world that has been created from it is... my real life. 

You have supported me through my pregnancy so far and I am sure you will support through to the birth. You have celebrated my successes with me and held my hand through all of my failures. At every moment that I have needed support or a cuddle or a kind word, you have been there. When I am proud, you are proud with me. When I am uncertain, you reassure me. When I have been sad, you have made me happy. You have given me an unknown support, one that just hasn't existed in my life before you. And so you see... you are about as real as you can get. The way you make me feel, is about as real as any other feeling. 

So, from the absolute bottom of my heart, I thank you. For every kind word, for every piece of advice, for every smile and for every cuddle. I thank you for the friendships and the conversations and I thank you for every single second of the last four months... it really has meant the world to me. This place has become my home and you have become my family.

From my family to yours I wish you all the happiness and joy in the world. I will celebrate your successes with you into the new year and I will always hold your hand through your sadnesses. There are no words strong enough or elaborate enough that can even begin to explain how blown away I am by YOU... you make me strive to be more, be greater, be me... and for that, I will forever try and give you the same in return.

Merry Christmas everyone, I cant wait to start the New Year with you!
xxx

Dear Santy Claus...

The very lovely Sophie, over at Modern Day Mummying, asked me to create a Christmas wish list two weeks ago and every day since I have been pushing this task aside. With December being the month of my Birthday, come Christmas time there is actually very little left for me to desire and so trying to give my family hints about a Christmas gift has been difficult enough. But over the weekend I had a moment that made it all clear to me... and now I know, exactly what it is that I want...


Dear Santy Claus!

Every year my life proves to be one that is full of blessings and privileges. It is full of family and friends, love and support. Every year, at Christmas time, I look at my life and I know that it is abundantly full and I am never left wanting or needing for anything more. At the end of the year, when my partner is at home and our families all come together I like to take the time to look back on what has been and be thankful for it all... even if some of the time it has been trialling, because I know, that I am truly blessed.

With a life like mine, there are no items, objects or possessions that could bring me a happiness that even measures to the happiness I feel when I watch the people I love... live. Christmas time is a time for joy, for magic and for so much love and on Friday night as I took my little girl around the suburbs, stopping to 'oooh' and 'ahhhh' at all the magical lights that adorned the beautiful houses, I stood back and I cried. Because in that moment there I knew that I was giving my Daughter a blessed and privileged life too. Because I knew that I was creating magic for her. Because I knew, that she would never be left to need or want and in that moment, I knew what it was that I wished for, for Christmas. 

1. Love like mine

As I watched my Daughter dance to the sounds of the Christmas Carols and jump up and down pointing at the lights my heart was overwhelmed. Before I held my own Daughter I was never truly aware of how much love I was capable of having. I never knew that love could feel so good that it bubbles up from inside of you and it spills out of you in the form of tears in your eyes, goosebumps on your skin and an intense need to just hug the person you love the most. But now, I know what love is. My Daughter has filled my life with magic, not just at Christmas time. She has filled it with bubbles and fairies, rainbows and lollies. It is intense, it is overwhelming, it is overbearing and it is my single, most favourite feeling in the world. 

I want for everyone to know a love like this. To feel it towards another person, to show another person. I want everyone to feel this love back and to be shown. I want love like mine to fill the world and to make the world a magical place, all year round. I want for all parents to be able to hold their babies tight every night, for them not to be taken away from them. I want for those babies to know that they are being held so tight because they are so passionately and desperately loved. I want for all babies to have someone, to love them. Wether it is their parents, or someone in place of their parents. I want all children to be safe and protected. I want a love like mine to over rule the world. If we all felt a love like mine, then there would be no room for evil.

2. Equality in love

I have always loved Anthony, to the umpth degree, but until Evelyn was born, that degree was far lower than it is now. Now I love him way past that degree and back again. And I am allowed to. We are not married, but when and if we chose to be, we will be. There is no barriers standing in our way. We can walk down the street and hold hands, we can even stop and kiss each other passionately if we so desire, and we are allowed to. There is no judgement from bystanders, there is no disgust or outrage. Anthony and I can love each other in any form that we like, we can be who and what we want to be, where ever we want to be and that is a privilege that we often take for granted, not even giving it a second thought.

What I want, is for everyone to be able to love their person in the way that I do. I want for their to be freedom in Australia to marry the person you love, male or female. I want for my Daughter to be able to kiss her girlfriend in the street in the same way that should would kiss her boyfriend, if ever she wanted to. I want for two girls to be able to hold hands and profess their love for each other in front of their family and friends and I want it to be normal. I want for two men to be able to do the same. I want for my Daughter to grow up in a world the understands that you do not love the external, you love the person, who ever is inside. Because that is what I will be teaching her and I never want for someone to tell her that is not normal, or not okay, or not acceptable. I want equality in love, because everyone deserves to love someone.

3. The lost to be found

When I was young I spent some time living out of home, in places that I shouldn't have been living. I wont call the experience dreadful because the experience bought me knowledge and wisdom, it bought me power. I met people who lived, full time, on the streets and they were fabulous. They were always judged, treated poorly, by the common people. Everyone thinking they are just a drunk, drinking away their families, home and money. But that is not always the case. The homeless are people too, they have lives, they had families, they have parents, siblings and often children. They are just lost.

What I want, is for them to be found. By their loved ones, by a new loved one, by anyone who is willing to give them a chance. I want for the homeless to be provided with the opportunity to no longer be homeless. I want for the common person to no longer judged them for what they see, for their scraggy clothes and bad smell, for the cardboard bed and unwashed feet. I want the common person to look behind the dirt and see the man, I want them to see the sadness in their eyes and their lost and wounded hearts and I want them to reach out a hand. I want for the homeless to become people again, not just a sore sight. Because they are so much more than that.

4. World Care

I have not travelled too far around the world, but I dont need to travel to know that there are countries around the world that need our help. The help of the blessed and privileged. There are countries stricken by poverty and grief. My dream growing up was always to travel to Africa and to donate my time and ability and heart to the welfare of the country. To the people who have suffered, to the people who are suffering. I have not made it there yet but I have not given up on my dream. One day I will walk fly into that country and I will do what ever I can to make a difference, if only to the life of one, one life improved is better than one life lost.

For now, all I can do is donate my money and my prayers and keep hoping that one day these countries will be freed by the shackles of their poverty. For now, all I want is for you, oh blessed one, to also donate your money and prayers. Because we do live a blessed life and they do not. Because we do have the power to make a difference in a life that they cannot improve. Because that coffee that you will buy for yourself tomorrow morning, and the next, could give them water for a week. Because that coffee could mean their life and isn't a life worth saving?

5. Good Health

Four years ago, my Mum lost her husband to Cancer, I lost my Step Father. Nine years ago, my Dad lost his wife to Cancer and my step brothers lost their Mother as young boys. Before that we lost family friends to Cancer. And today I watch another family friend suffer through her 4th hit of Cancer. Cancer has been a part of my life, I have watched it steal away the strength, the humour, the light from people that I love. I have then watched it take them away completely. I have watched their bodies break and give in to the pain. I have survived the pain of losing them. Cancer is an awful disease that is running rampant throughout the lives of many and I hate it. Cancer makes my blood boil.

I want for it to be gone and if not gone, I want for there to be cure. I do not want to see another person in my life lose their person to that hideous disease. I do not want to watch that life sucking disease steal away any more light from our world. I am asking you, dear Santa, to please not bring anymore Cancer into my life, or into the lives of any other. Because it is heart breaking, to watch, to suffer, to survive, to live with and to die with. No one deserves such an end. 

Santa... I dont want for much. I do not need for a single object or possession. All I ask from you, is these 5 simple things. Please help me to make this world a better place. Please help me to raise my Daughter in a world full of love, of equality, of compassion and of good health. 

I will bake you cookies every night for the rest of my life if you could deliver me these tomorrow morning. 

Forever your believer...
Jess

What Christmas Means to Me

Christmas is a time of year that can often be swept away by stress and pressure, responsibilities and expectations, presents and things. It is a time of year that the traditions of the holiday can become so important to keep and repeat that we forget to actually live them. It is a time when everyone's desire to have the perfect Christmas, the perfect gift and the perfect decorations can often lead to people forgetting what Christmas is truly all about.

I am one of those people, I forget. I worry so much about what I want it to be, that it comes and goes and it was not at all what I was dreaming of. Growing up, Christmas was often surrounded by sadness and disappointment. My Mum was a single Mother of three children and come Christmas time, she grieved the life that she always wanted. It was a hard time for her and I remember it being so. My Dad was surrounded by a new family whom he celebrated with each year and by the time we made it down to him, Christmas was over. Each year, Christmas was not celebrated to its full potential and I have carried those memories with me into my adulthood, finding it difficult to celebrate Christmas for what I want it to be.

Christmas to me is about love. Not only for ourselves and our families, but for the world. It is about giving, not just gifts and food, but support and thanks. Christmas is a time to be grateful for the year that has passed and to look forward to the year that is to come. It is not a time to dwell on what was not, or what could have been, relationships lost, dreams not met. It is a time to look up, look forward and to be happy. It is about giving, to those who need it more than you, wether it be your time, a smile, a friendly hand, food or a gift. It is about helping to make someone else's day a little happier than before. It is about community. 

Christmas is not just about my family, it is about all families. It is not just about my children, but about all the children. It is not just about my world and what is important to me, it is about using my world to help the worlds of others. Ever since I was a little girl I wanted to be able to do something at Christmas time that was for the good of others, to help those who cannot help themselves, and every year what is important to me, becomes more important. But this year, I want that to be different. 

At a time of the year where most celebrate their good fortune and each other with food and good wine, with chilled beer and cheer, there are families out there who may not be able to be together. There are children who do not have parents. There parents who cannot provide for their children. There sick people and their families praying for good health. I cannot heal the hearts of all of those people, I cannot give them what they need or pray for, I cannot change their future or their pasts. But I can help to make their day just a little bit brighter. Christmas is about giving, to others, selflessly.

This year, in the week leading up to Christmas, my family and I will be baking and creating care packages full of Christmas treats. And on Christmas morning, before we open our presents, Anthony, Evelyn and I will be heading to the hospital and we will give out small boxes of cheer to the patients on the children's and intensive care wards. 

This may not be selfless, because to give in a way such as this, lifts your spirits in a way like no other. It will not be selfless because starting this tradition this year will teach my Daughter that Christmas is not about what is beneath the tree, it is about what is within our hearts. It is definitely not selfless because the feeling that this brings to me, to be able to do something for someone else on Christmas Day, is far greater than the feeling that any food or gift could ever bring to those people. One day, I will find a way to commit a true selfless act on Christmas Day, but for this year I am just thrilled to be able to do anything at all.

Being able to do something as small as this, for unknowing people, serves as a reminder to myself (and Anthony) that the world is so much bigger than us. I need to remind myself that I lead a privileged life and it is my responsibility to use my privilege to help others. This is a reminder to myself to slow down this Christmas, to think about others, to be kind and thoughtful, to care and to share. 

The world needs more kindness...

My heartfelt thoughts go out to all of those who are in a situation less fortunate than me and especially to the families and loved ones affected by the Connecticut tragedy today

How to make your own ~ Personalised Christmas Baubles

Growing up we never truly had a Christmas tradition. Each year was spent somewhere new, wether it require a 4 hour drive or wether it be around the corner. Always with other people and never at our own home. Some years we would wake up else where and other years we would wake up at home. But we did have one thing that we did every year, we waited until after my Birthday (Dec 7th) much to the dismay of my siblings, to decorate our home. And when we did decorate we would play the Christmas Carols and we would spend all night topping the tree of baubles and tinsel, hanging garlands around the house, emptying our Christmas box of magic to be strewn through out the bedrooms. Yesterday I mention a very special Christmas job that I had every year, today I want to tell you about the family baubles that we each hang.

We would wait for everything else to be complete and then we would each select our own baubles with our own names on them from the special box and place them on the tree. All fighting for the prime position!

Ever since I owned my own tree I have been looking for a place that would recreate those personalised baubles but have found anywhere that is quite as nice. So... I decided to tackle this one on my own!

Here is my how to guide!

What you will need:
1 bauble per family member 
(I chose mine from bed, bath and table for $5.99 each)
Glitter of your choice
(I used silver and metallic white)
PVC glue
A skewer
String to hang the baubles
(mine came with them)

How to make:
Lay a towel over your workspace to collect all the fallen glitter dust
Fill a bowl with your glitter
Squeeze some PVC glue out on to a mat for easy dipping and dip your skewer into the glue, begin to write your name, quite thickly so that you can get a good coverage of glitter
Once you have finished writing your names put your bauble in the bowl and cover the glue with the glitter
Let the glue dry for 24 hours

**I made these at home alone so was unable to take any photos of the process***

How to make your own ~ Fabric Christmas Wreath

Growing up one of my very clear memories of preparing for Christmas was that each and every year I had my own special job. I was the one who hung the Christmas wreath on the front door. This was my very special job because the very special Christmas wreath was made by me in preschool. It was made with white plastic shopping bags and a coat hanger with some cheap decorations hanging on it. It was nothing beautiful or spectacular, but it was made by my very young hands. It was something I delighted in hanging every year... even as a late teenager. 

There is nothing more rewarding than being able to hang something in your own home that was made by you (or your husband or children). Handmade really is the best kind of made there it is. Always original, always full of love and always evokes pride. 

So this year, I have been delighting in creating Christmas decorations that I can hang in my own home, each and every year. That I can tell Evelyn I made and she helped choose the resources. That I can tell Jelly that I made while they kicked away in my tummy. Then next year, I can create craft activities for Evelyn to make and I will hang those with pride in my home too. Because, you see, I love things that are full of love and made especially with me in mind.

Last night I started and finished my very own adult version of that very special Christmas wreath and I hang it on my wall and I swelled with pride and memories and love. So in the spirit of Christmas, and sharing, and my crafty posts I decided to share this here with you too! I apologise for the quality of photos and lack of steps, I was so wrapped up in getting the job done that I actually forgot to photograph it along the way. You know, living in the moment and all that!

What you will need:

1 x metal ring ~ Spotlight $2
A range of Christmas fabric ~ Spotlight $28
Scissors

I bought 30 cms of four different fabrics and then a pack of "fat quarters" which were mixed red fabrics. I had way too much fabric! I dont think I even used half of it!



How to make:

Cut your fabric in strips - 1/2" x 5"
Tie in a simple knot onto the ring, making sure to alternate fabrics
Once ring is full - Hang with pride

It is as simple as that!

How to make your own ~ Christmas Felt Ball Garland

I have been hearing so much about these 'felt ball garlands' over the last few months that as Christmas began to approach I decided that we MUST add one to our christmas decorations. I started to look to just buy one but was shocked at the expense and unwilling to spend that kind of money on something that I could so easily make myself!

So, with that in mind, I began to research "how to make a felt ball garland". Each Christmas we have a different colour scheme in our house and with this year being traditional I was looking to make an all green or all red garland, but I found that when buying felt balls, you buy them in multi colour and multi colour only! So, I was going to make my OWN felt balls and Evelyn and I trotted off to spotlight for a felt ball making adventure!

I will warn you that this little project became quite a big project! It was quite time consuming and often maddening, but last night when I hang my garland on the wall, all that torture was definitely worth it!

So here is what you will need:

*Wool roving
Waxed string
Hot water
Soap (I used morning fresh liquid soap but you can also use a bar of soap)
A needle
Patience!

*Make sure you get the wool that specifically says roving. As I bought one that just said wool merino and it was impossible to felt!

And here is how you make a felt ball

You will need to have a bowl of hot soapy water and a bowl of cold clean water
Cut your roving into pieces. I did one test ball before cutting all the wool to make sure that it would create a big enough ball at the end
Roll your dry wool into a loose ball shape and then dip into the hot soapy water
Begin to roll, without too much pressure as you do not want the ball to felt in the wrong shape
Make sure you have enough soap to create a lather, without bubbles














You will begin to notice your ball will harden and the wool will start to "felt"
Keeping dipping it in the hot water as much as you need to
Keep rolling until the ball becomes quite dense and you cannot flatten it between your fingers
Dip the ball into the cold clean water to rinse and to shock the fibres
Let the balls dry for 24 hours before stringing them

Once your balls are dry simply thread them onto your string with a needle

Here's a lesson I learnt the hard way - Do not thread all the balls onto the string before knotting them into place as the entire thing will knot and you will have to start again!

For my felt ball I wanted them a ball and a half space apart so I threaded one ball at a time and then knotted it into place. However you dont have to knot it if you like the haphazard look.

Once it is all tied, hang! And there you have it... my very own, hand-made, felt ball garland! I am actually quite proud!

I am yet to find a good storage solution for this so if you have any ideas please do let me know!

How to make your own ~ Christmas Candy Cane Hearts

I love everything about this time of year. I love the vibe and the atmosphere. I love the happiness and the festive spirit. I love the rush and the stress. I adore the giving and of course the receiving. I love the lead up, the day and the come down. Christmas is that one thing every year that I look forward to, all year. When the decorations start to appear in the shops I start to get goosebumps and have often found myself tearing up when I have found a new and exciting decoration to bring home. It excites me, it brings out the child in me, it encourages my inner imagination and creativity and it just makes me so freaking happy. I love Christmas!

Before I had children I was known to spend hundreds of dollars on buying well thought out gifts for my family and friends, never recording what I had spent... Because the feeling of buying, wrapping and giving far out weighed the cost! But since Evelyn was born and we now live on a single income I have had to reign in my spending come Christmas. My desire to give is still live and well and so each year I look for ideas for handmade and cost effective gifts.

This week I saw a photo of a great quick and easy candy cane treat on the instagram feed of this lovely lady and I just knew I had to give it a whirl. With today being my Mothers Group Christmas party I thought it was a good excuse! And I had the best time making these little gems so I thought I would share with you this very cost effective, quick and easy "baking" recipe for the non baker.

I have a few other "crafty" christmas projects on the go at the moment and will share each one as they are finished here. I am not a crafter, but come Christmas, I try to be! So all of these projects are easy to do, for the non crafty mama!

What you will need

4 x boxes of Candy Canes ~ Aldi - 2 for $3

2 x bags of Cadbury Melts ~ Coles - $3.98 each

Cellophane Lollie Bags ~ Coles - 30 for $2 (I think!)

Total cost - $15.96 

(this made me 15 hearts)

Recipe

Lay your candy canes out on baking paper in the shape of hearts to make 15 hearts

Crush your spare Candy Canes in a plastic bag with a hammer or meat mallet

Melt your chocolate down over boiling water, I used milk chocolate and white chocolate so had to melt mine down in two steps

Carefully spoon your chocolate into the heart of your candy cane, then sprinkle with the candy cane dust

Pop in the fridge for a couple of hours and wait for the chocolate to set

Once it is set I placed two hearts, one milk and one white chocolate into my lolly bags. I wrapped a small piece of christmas ribbon around the end and made a 'Merry Xmas' tag with some cardboard and stamps that I had in my craft drawer.

Ta - Da!!!

Merry Christmas