My Heart, Your Home: Things I never want to forget   

Saturday, 23 February 2013

Things I never want to forget

Evelyn is forever changing. Her voice, her looks, her height, her mannerisms. Each and every day, something is different. They are amazing little beings, these toddlers. So eager to learn, so desperate to grow. I wish that I could stop time and soak it all in, I wish I could bottle up her now and keep it on my shelf forever. The days just slip by us and time disappears and some mornings I wake up and the Evelyn I knew is no longer there. I love her all the same, I love her even more, but I miss the little things, the things I will soon forget.

All the little things that I want to hold onto so tightly, the little things I never want to see her grow out. They are the things that only I can love the way I do, they are the things that most people don't see, or they correct. But I love these moments, these mannerisms, the words, the understandings that only Evelyn can have, and only she can have now. I cant bottle her now up, I cant keep it forever. Sadly, it will slip us by, just like the days and this Evelyn will be a 'remember when' Evelyn. 

So, here are a few of my favourite things about Evelyn's now, that I never want to forget.

-- Mummy is very heavily pregnant and often requires the help of Daddy to get up off the lounge, or the ground, or out of the car. You have learnt that for me to go from sitting to standing, Daddy has to pull me up and so now, when you want me to come with you, you will come and hold my hand and say 'Mama, pulllll, up, walk'. You drag me by the hand and take me to where ever you want to go. 

Every single time you "pull" me up, my heart melts. I love the way your mind understands this situation. I love that when you do this in public only you and I understand what you mean and most of all... I love the face you make as you say that very word - pull

-- Every single time I get you out of the car, without a doubt, you stand there and you wait patiently for me, with your hand in the air waiting for me to put mine in yours. You walk so gently on this earth, taking each step with such thought and caution. At this stage in your life, you need a little support to take your steps. You need your Mummy's hand. I never want that to stop. I love that you need me, that you trust that the world will always be okay, as long as your hand is in mine. I cherish these moments because I need you too. My world is always okay when your hand is in mine.

-- Once we start walking and you know that you are safe because you are with me, and I am with you. You, always, look at me with your love eyes. Every time. You look up at me with sparkling eyes, full of wanderlust, full of love and full of trust. In that moment, your eyes appear bigger than they are. In that moment, I know that you heart is swollen. Just as mine is. Swollen with happiness and love. Because you are mine and I am yours and we will forever walk this earth together.

-- If you are not holding my hand, you are holding your Daddy's hand. There is a difference between the way you walk with him, compared to how you walk with me. A difference that I will never truly understand, nor do I want to. But I can see that it is there. You walk with a different air, a confidence. As you and your Daddy walk in front of me, I always smile. I am watching one of the most beautiful bonds grow, a bond between Daddy and Daughter. He loves you, with an intensity that you and I will always be in awe of. 

-- You cherish your friendships. You are not even two years old and you hold them so close to you. You watch them with care, you care about them with love, you share with them with passion and you fight with them like siblings. You cherish all your friendships, with baby boys and baby girls, with Mummy's friends and with Daddy's friends. You are so kind and gentle and loving. Your friends love you which is so very important to me. For you to be loved, to know that you are loved. If I can control life, I would make sure that you never know neglect and rejection. 

-- Today I saw you with a baby for the very first time. You were fascinated. You loved him. You were soft and gentle and curious. I just know that you are going to make the most brilliant big Sister. I loved seeing you with that baby today and I cant wait to see you with our baby. 

-- Your smile. The way you smile with me. The way you smile at me. Everything about your smile right now. Its beautiful. Its toothy. Its cute. It is just perfect.

-- They way you say your words. There are words that I never want to forget.

Bobble ~ Bottle
Bro-ee ~ Brodie
Kite     ~ Light
Powpa ~ Powder
Ceem  ~ Cream

I may not be able to bottle your now but I can make sure I remember it. I love you and everything about you right now. I will be sad to see these moments go but with every day that slips by and each moment that slowly goes with it, there is a new day and a new moment that I love just as much.

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