Time has been going by so fast that I have barely had a moment to think about how I feel about carrying my third child. The pregnancy itself has been so easy on me in comparison to the girls pregnancies and up until recent weeks I was not showing all that much, so it has been quite easy to get swept up in the week and push the pregnancy to the back of my mind.
These last few days it has dawned on me that we are only a matter of weeks away from completing our family. Our last ever child to be carried within my tummy, last child to be birthed, to be raised. It occurred to me how terribly empty that makes me feel. I have loved watching my body grow to accommodate the lives of my cherished loved ones. I love the way pregnancy makes me feel beautiful, I love the strength and power that birth gives me. To think that we are making an active decision to not go through another pregnancy is unthinkable for me at the moment.
I have found it fascinating that throughout my pregnancy with Zalia I was so deeply concerned about how I was going to possibly have two children, however, throughout this pregnancy I do not feel concerned or fearful. I have such a strong understanding now that with every child born, you love them just the same. I have a confidence that my two Daughters will adapt and this baby boy will be accepted into this family with a strong and passionate love. I don't find myself feeling guilty with this pregnancy like I did the last. I have learnt with Zalias life that the life of this baby will only bring joy and happiness into our home. There will be no negative impact on my children, my family, my house.
My emotional state has been so much stronger throughout this pregnancy. With Evelyn's and Zalia's I found myself to be so fragile, everything was an uphill battle and I was constantly on the verge of tears. But this pregnancy has not effected the way I have been able to run my life. I am busy with the lives of my Daughters, I am studying at University, I am babysitting 3 times a week and I am building some of the best friendships Ive ever known. Life seems so positive and up at the moment. Pregnancy seems easy. My family is strong.
I am so completely blessed to have fallen pregnant the way I did and to be in the situation I am in. I have not taken that for granted, even once. I am over the moon excited for this baby to arrive. To have a boy to join my little family and to fill our house with laughter, family and love. I can only imagine how much love there is going to be in this household and I cannot wait!
Baby Blue, Boo Boo, I do love you
x
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