My Heart, Your Home: The Bump ~ Due Date   

Monday, 18 March 2013

The Bump ~ Due Date

40 weeks. We have actively known we were pregnant now for 35 weeks. We have been taking these photos and writing these words every week for 28 weeks. You just don't realise how much time that really is until you sit down and think back to a moment and remember I was pregnant then. 40 weeks was not a date that I thought we would arrive at but here we are and I am actually kind of glad that we are here.

I am proud of us for dedicating our time every week to acknowledge this pregnancy, to embrace it and to celebrate it. I have spent today looking back over these photos and I just think it is a magical gift that we have given ourselves and our babies, both Evelyn and Jelly. Every week we left the house and we spent time as a family celebrating being a family and now we get to look back over those precious hours and remember just how wonderful they were. Doing these photos, writing these words, has forced us to spend time disconnected from the outside world and dedicated to ourselves, our world, our family. What a wonderful way to spend time with Evelyn before she is no longer the second child. I truly feel like we have given her a gift. 

Taking the time to write these words every week has allowed me to take the time to accept my emotions over the previous week. It has given me the strength to admit to any failures or faults and it has given me the courage to celebrate my successes. It has allowed me to view myself and my reactions from an almost seperate view and in doing so, I have been able to admit defeat, ask for help and praise myself. Writing these words each work, I believe, has helped me to get through each and every day of this pregnancy. The extremely hard ones and the ones that I am proud of. These words, this hour every week, has given me the strength, the confidence and the power to get through this pregnancy with what I believe is a grace, I other wise wouldn't have had.

I am proud of the last 40 weeks. I am proud of my body and all that it is capable of. Its ability to create a baby. Its ability to carry that baby to full term, to nourish it and to give it strength. I am proud of my heart, for the bond it has created with my unborn child. I am proud of my mind, for not allowing my fears of losing this child, overcome my ability to bond with this child. I am proud of Anthony, for putting up with my meltdowns and for keeping up with my mood swings. I am proud of Evelyn, for watching her Mama grow another baby and for understanding that soon there will be a baby in our house. I am proud of the entire 40 weeks... all of it, the good, the bad and the particularly ugly.

I am at peace this week with every thing that has been and with every thing that is to come. I feel calm and relaxed. I know that another week could go by and we still may not have this baby in our arms, but that is okay. Because, I know that once baby is here, our world will be better for it and I am okay to wait for that. I am giddy with excitement and smitten with love. My life is about to change, back flip, turn inside out and I am waiting with open arms, for all of it. Our lives will soon be complete. Our beautiful family, one more. How blessed we are!

Jelly, there is no words I can say today that I haven't already said to you a million times over. There is no way I can ever describe to you just how much we love you and just how much we want you. You are one of the most anticipated babies to ever be created. Your Sister is waiting, very impatiently, to meet you. Daddy and I are waiting to love you from the outside. To cuddle you, to kiss you, to smell you and to hold you. I know you are close because I can feel you already. My arms ache for you. My heart races to think of you. You are going to change me and I am so ready for you.

Its you and me babe, together we will deliver you earth side and together we will be

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