Returning from a blogging holiday

I have, inadvertently, taken a two week break from writing here. I was finding that life was so busy and full, yet I was lacking the words, time and motivation to come here and write. I was feeling a little lost in what I wanted from this space and where I wanted it to go. It is so easy, in the blogging world, to get caught up in what is expected and become carried away in the changing currents. Feeling like you need to produce multiple posts, of quality writing and entertainment, for your audience. Watching fellow bloggers open sidebar advertising, or welcome sponsored posts. I began to get carried away with it and lost sight of what this blog means to me. 

Whilst I have absolutely loved building an audience and a relationship with my "readers", some of who have become close friends, this blog was not created for any kind of readership. I am honoured and delighted that I do have people who take the time to read and to comment and to support me. More than I could ever possibly describe. I have found great support here from you. I have found love and kindness. I have found the village that I have always craved.

I have loved watching my audience grow and have been blown away by the words that have been left here for me, by you. It really is such a magical thing. My entire life I have felt like my voice was not heard, that I was invisible. But when I write here, you hear me, you respond to me. You don't talk over the top of me, you don't disregard me, you actually choose to take the time to listen and to talk back. That has been such a gift to me and has really encouraged me to find more confidence within myself. But, that is not the reason why I started writing here.

I created this blog to mark time. To create a special place where I can record my daily musings of a stay at home Mum. To record the changes, the milestones and the achievements of my children. To give my thoughts a place to have the voice I felt I never had. I have lost sight of this a little bit. No longer writing to my children but feeling like I am writing to an audience. I began to question if I can say this, or will this be entertaining enough. I stopped monthly letters to Evelyn when she turned 2 as I thought it would bore you. 

In the last two weeks I have thought about this a lot and I realised how much I miss those monthly letters to Evelyn. I asked myself, why? If I love writing them and I miss having that record, then why am I not doing them? So, whilst I would love you to continue reading and to continue building my relationship with you. I need to go back to my core and start writing, not only for people to read and relate, but to my children. Marking their lives and our journey together.

Nothing much will really change here. I will still be the same voice telling the same stories but I will be writing the posts that I want my children to read in the future. Not the posts that I think will be entertaining. As I sit down to write each post it will be for the purpose of Evelyn and Zalia. Because at the end of the day, I am just a proud Mother wanting to record and remember my kids lives. 

I am by no means a writer.