Dear 20 Month Old You...

On Monday this week you were 20 months old... 20 months feels like such a huge milestone. No longer a baby but not yet a two year old. I cannot believe my eyes, watching you grow, learn and develop. Every day you amaze me with a new word or capability and every day I bust with pride that you are mine and that I am lucky enough to be raising you.

You are such a beautiful soul, I say it every month but every month you show me just how kind and gentle and caring you really are. It is my role as your Mother to nourish and encourage that characteristic in you, making sure that you never lose your heart and soul. At such a young age it not a concern of mine but I do worry that as you grow your desire to love the world and everyone in it may falter. I am trying to find a way to keep that trust live within you while teaching you about personal safety. I do not ever want you to lose your faith in people and the world, it is a beautiful faith to have and watching it shine within you reminds me to look for my own again.

You were born a true girl, so petite and soft and gentle. Your natural instinct is to play with the dolls, patting them on the back and placing them in their cots. You hold your friends hands and brush their hair when they are sad. You cuddle and kiss everyone you meet. I can already see that maternal instinct in you and I just know you will become the most beautiful big Sister and, in many years to come, the most wonderful Mother.

You are surrounded by little boyfriends so as much as you are a girl, you are also a tom boy. Kicking balls, playing rough and tumble, digging in the dirt. You will give anything a try and have no fear of being hurt or failing. I love watching that within you, because that is what Mummy was as a child. I am learning to encourage both sides of your gender. Trying to nurture the girl in you while encouraging the inner tom boy to come out and play. I imagine a life full of fairies and pink, balls and scraped knees and that is a life I couldn't even dream of.

You are my little beach baby, on any day, in any mood, being on the beach will instantly bring a smile to your face and your bad mood will disappear. Covered in sand and wet clothes you will run the length of the beach chasing the waves and digging holes. You are always happiest by the sea. Mummy is always happiest by the sea too. And I am so very happy that you and I can connect over something so precious and important to me. Your Daddy could not be any more proud and is dreaming of the day he can put you on a surf board. 

You are becoming bossy, dragging Mummy and Daddy and any of your friends from one place to another by the hand. You love to share your games and books and adventures with all of us and we love to join in and play with you too. 

You are becoming more and more vocal, learning new words every day and it is such a thrill! But, there is no sound I love more, than when you call my name... Mama... my heart truly melts and I often find myself with tears in my eyes and goosebumps on my skin. It is the most beautiful sound in the world. 

Being your Mama is the most precious gift I have ever been given and I will cherish it each and every day. We will have our moments, some of them will be bad and I will let you down, but just know that I loved you before you were born and I will love you until the very end. Nothing will ever take that away from us and there is nothing you can ever do that will question the strength of my love. I want you to know that you will always be my baby girl and there will always be a place for you in my heart. I spend my days now fighting to be the best possible version of myself so that I can give you the best possible Mother. 

You are my world Evelyn... and in return for all that you have given me I want to give you the world

I love you