Dear Santy Claus...

The very lovely Sophie, over at Modern Day Mummying, asked me to create a Christmas wish list two weeks ago and every day since I have been pushing this task aside. With December being the month of my Birthday, come Christmas time there is actually very little left for me to desire and so trying to give my family hints about a Christmas gift has been difficult enough. But over the weekend I had a moment that made it all clear to me... and now I know, exactly what it is that I want...


Dear Santy Claus!

Every year my life proves to be one that is full of blessings and privileges. It is full of family and friends, love and support. Every year, at Christmas time, I look at my life and I know that it is abundantly full and I am never left wanting or needing for anything more. At the end of the year, when my partner is at home and our families all come together I like to take the time to look back on what has been and be thankful for it all... even if some of the time it has been trialling, because I know, that I am truly blessed.

With a life like mine, there are no items, objects or possessions that could bring me a happiness that even measures to the happiness I feel when I watch the people I love... live. Christmas time is a time for joy, for magic and for so much love and on Friday night as I took my little girl around the suburbs, stopping to 'oooh' and 'ahhhh' at all the magical lights that adorned the beautiful houses, I stood back and I cried. Because in that moment there I knew that I was giving my Daughter a blessed and privileged life too. Because I knew that I was creating magic for her. Because I knew, that she would never be left to need or want and in that moment, I knew what it was that I wished for, for Christmas. 

1. Love like mine

As I watched my Daughter dance to the sounds of the Christmas Carols and jump up and down pointing at the lights my heart was overwhelmed. Before I held my own Daughter I was never truly aware of how much love I was capable of having. I never knew that love could feel so good that it bubbles up from inside of you and it spills out of you in the form of tears in your eyes, goosebumps on your skin and an intense need to just hug the person you love the most. But now, I know what love is. My Daughter has filled my life with magic, not just at Christmas time. She has filled it with bubbles and fairies, rainbows and lollies. It is intense, it is overwhelming, it is overbearing and it is my single, most favourite feeling in the world. 

I want for everyone to know a love like this. To feel it towards another person, to show another person. I want everyone to feel this love back and to be shown. I want love like mine to fill the world and to make the world a magical place, all year round. I want for all parents to be able to hold their babies tight every night, for them not to be taken away from them. I want for those babies to know that they are being held so tight because they are so passionately and desperately loved. I want for all babies to have someone, to love them. Wether it is their parents, or someone in place of their parents. I want all children to be safe and protected. I want a love like mine to over rule the world. If we all felt a love like mine, then there would be no room for evil.

2. Equality in love

I have always loved Anthony, to the umpth degree, but until Evelyn was born, that degree was far lower than it is now. Now I love him way past that degree and back again. And I am allowed to. We are not married, but when and if we chose to be, we will be. There is no barriers standing in our way. We can walk down the street and hold hands, we can even stop and kiss each other passionately if we so desire, and we are allowed to. There is no judgement from bystanders, there is no disgust or outrage. Anthony and I can love each other in any form that we like, we can be who and what we want to be, where ever we want to be and that is a privilege that we often take for granted, not even giving it a second thought.

What I want, is for everyone to be able to love their person in the way that I do. I want for their to be freedom in Australia to marry the person you love, male or female. I want for my Daughter to be able to kiss her girlfriend in the street in the same way that should would kiss her boyfriend, if ever she wanted to. I want for two girls to be able to hold hands and profess their love for each other in front of their family and friends and I want it to be normal. I want for two men to be able to do the same. I want for my Daughter to grow up in a world the understands that you do not love the external, you love the person, who ever is inside. Because that is what I will be teaching her and I never want for someone to tell her that is not normal, or not okay, or not acceptable. I want equality in love, because everyone deserves to love someone.

3. The lost to be found

When I was young I spent some time living out of home, in places that I shouldn't have been living. I wont call the experience dreadful because the experience bought me knowledge and wisdom, it bought me power. I met people who lived, full time, on the streets and they were fabulous. They were always judged, treated poorly, by the common people. Everyone thinking they are just a drunk, drinking away their families, home and money. But that is not always the case. The homeless are people too, they have lives, they had families, they have parents, siblings and often children. They are just lost.

What I want, is for them to be found. By their loved ones, by a new loved one, by anyone who is willing to give them a chance. I want for the homeless to be provided with the opportunity to no longer be homeless. I want for the common person to no longer judged them for what they see, for their scraggy clothes and bad smell, for the cardboard bed and unwashed feet. I want the common person to look behind the dirt and see the man, I want them to see the sadness in their eyes and their lost and wounded hearts and I want them to reach out a hand. I want for the homeless to become people again, not just a sore sight. Because they are so much more than that.

4. World Care

I have not travelled too far around the world, but I dont need to travel to know that there are countries around the world that need our help. The help of the blessed and privileged. There are countries stricken by poverty and grief. My dream growing up was always to travel to Africa and to donate my time and ability and heart to the welfare of the country. To the people who have suffered, to the people who are suffering. I have not made it there yet but I have not given up on my dream. One day I will walk fly into that country and I will do what ever I can to make a difference, if only to the life of one, one life improved is better than one life lost.

For now, all I can do is donate my money and my prayers and keep hoping that one day these countries will be freed by the shackles of their poverty. For now, all I want is for you, oh blessed one, to also donate your money and prayers. Because we do live a blessed life and they do not. Because we do have the power to make a difference in a life that they cannot improve. Because that coffee that you will buy for yourself tomorrow morning, and the next, could give them water for a week. Because that coffee could mean their life and isn't a life worth saving?

5. Good Health

Four years ago, my Mum lost her husband to Cancer, I lost my Step Father. Nine years ago, my Dad lost his wife to Cancer and my step brothers lost their Mother as young boys. Before that we lost family friends to Cancer. And today I watch another family friend suffer through her 4th hit of Cancer. Cancer has been a part of my life, I have watched it steal away the strength, the humour, the light from people that I love. I have then watched it take them away completely. I have watched their bodies break and give in to the pain. I have survived the pain of losing them. Cancer is an awful disease that is running rampant throughout the lives of many and I hate it. Cancer makes my blood boil.

I want for it to be gone and if not gone, I want for there to be cure. I do not want to see another person in my life lose their person to that hideous disease. I do not want to watch that life sucking disease steal away any more light from our world. I am asking you, dear Santa, to please not bring anymore Cancer into my life, or into the lives of any other. Because it is heart breaking, to watch, to suffer, to survive, to live with and to die with. No one deserves such an end. 

Santa... I dont want for much. I do not need for a single object or possession. All I ask from you, is these 5 simple things. Please help me to make this world a better place. Please help me to raise my Daughter in a world full of love, of equality, of compassion and of good health. 

I will bake you cookies every night for the rest of my life if you could deliver me these tomorrow morning. 

Forever your believer...
Jess