My Daughter pulls out her hair...

My Daughter has this very strange and quite disturbing behavioural habit. It is one that I have been trying to break for quite some time now but I am not having any luck in doing so. As she goes to sleep at night, or when she is bored, she will rub her dummy through her hair, twisting and turning it. As a result she has been slowly pulling out clumps of her hair, day by day. To the point that her beautiful long curly locks are now half as thick and half as long.

I have recently made the decision, for the second time, to take the dummy away from her in order to try and salvage her beautiful locks. This is a decision that I struggle greatly with. Evelyn has only ever used the dummy to go to sleep with and it has never been a cause of concern for me. It comforts her, when I cannot. She was a happy child to go to bed, she would fall asleep easily and she would sleep the whole night through. If she did ever wake up, she would keep herself entertained. So, you see, taking the dummy away from her is just not a decision I would be making if it werent for this incessant hair pulling.

I tried the first time to take it away from her when she was 18 months old and the whole process was a nightmare. She howled. She screamed. She begged. She didn't sleep, at all. She was unhappy and in return, I too was unhappy. So after a month of preserving I gave her back the dummy. In an instant, she fell asleep. She went back to enjoying going to bed, so much so as to even take me by the hand to her bedroom and tell me it was time. She was happy again and so was I.

However, after giving her the dummy back her hair pulling only became more aggressive. She now has two bald patches on either side of her head. Every morning, her dummy would be covered with hair. It was worse than it had ever been before. So, I decided to try again.

And I am struggling. I don't want to take it away from her. I don't want to see her suffer. She has instantly regressed to no sleeping again. She hates to go to her bedroom. She hates the sight of her Rabbie and her bottle and her sleeping suit(all things that she has in bed). When we do start to get her ready for bed she all of a sudden wants something to eat, or a drink, or anything that can distract us for that tiny bit longer for her to avoid going to bed. When I walk her into her room she hugs me so tightly and begins to cry. To beg, "mama no, mama no, mama no" over and over again. My heart breaks, every single time. She then cries, wails, screams, begs and pleads for hours and fights that wave of tiredness to the very end before finally crashing out. When she wakes, she is instantly upset, calling for me straight away. 

Gone are the days of her taking herself to sleep, entertaining herself in the morning, having day naps. She is beginning to turn into a terror child, once again and both she and I are no longer very happy with each other. It is breaking her to not have that dummy and in turn, is breaking me to watch her so sad.

I am struggling with this decision. I have persevered now for over a week and every day is just becoming increasingly more difficult than the last. I have noticed that she is still pulling at her hair, only now, it is with her hands. The next step, if I chose to continue down this path, is to take the bottle away from her. But this is another decision that I am just not ready to make. How unfair, to remove her dummy, then her bottle. Put her in a big girl bed. Then bring a new baby home. I am struggling. Every day I wonder, do I give it back to her? Do I shave her head and hope that breaks the habit? Do I keep going down this road and if so, when do I stop? 

I can see that she is not ready to give up the dummy. I, too, am not ready to take it away. This whole process has been full of angst and no reward and I am not sure how I am to move forward with it. I want Evelyn to be happy, well rested, content. The dummy gives her those things and I am taking away that very source. 

How do I continue this?