So, with that said. Let me remind you that I had a lot of trouble breast feeding Evelyn and it was a battle that I lost with great disappointment and sadness. I still find it a highly emotional topic to talk about or to even think back to. When I first fell pregnant with Jelly I had convinced myself that breast feeding this baby would not be important to me and that if I could make the first four weeks work then I would be happy with that. Which I will be. But I have now set my goals higher.
I want to be able to breast feed Jelly for fair longer than four weeks. I want to be able to have that bond that I never had with Evelyn. I feel guilty about the prospect of it actually working with Jelly, where it didn't with Evelyn. Im not sure if this will make sense to you, but I feel jealous of the bond that could occur with Jelly. I feel let down that it didn't occur with Evelyn. It confuses me to feel this way and I have a lot of trouble trying to make sense of it. On one hand, I want so badly to breastfeed Jelly but on the other hand I don't want to. I don't want to because I didn't get to do that for Evelyn, or with her. I want to because I didn't get to do that with Evelyn. How does it make sense to be jealous of a relationship that hasn't even begun yet? Furthermore, how does it make sense to be jealous of your own relationship?
Regardless of all of these confused emotions, I decided a long time ago to start looking into ways to be able to help me along my breast feeding journey. My first stop was to look at corrective surgery. After much extensive research and discussion with Drs and Anthony, this was just not an option I was willing to take. Considering my bad reactions to General anaesthetic, the recovery time that would ensue and my lack of a village to call upon, surgery was out. So I began to look online for any suggestions on how to correct an inverted nipple and I came across this strange looking thing.
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| Buy it here |
It is called a 'Niplette' and is made my Avent. When Evelyn was born and it became apparent that I needed something to help me pull out my nipple, Anthony and I scoured the baby stores and the chemists and we found something that was just called a 'Nipple Puller'. Im not sure how to describe it, it had a small little pump on the end, like a baster pump. And you put the suction cap over your nipple and pumped the baster. It was ridiculous and didnt even take hold of my skin let alone begin to pull my nipple out. But this, this actually works! You place that little cap over your nipple and it is connected to a syringe which you then draw out. The pressure is strong but not painful and it is controllable, unlike trying to use the breast pump!
So every day for the last month and a half, I have been using this while I walk around the house. And each and every day my nipple pulls out a little bit further. Precious to the niplette when I tried to "draw" my nipple out of its inversion it would actually invert further... But now? Now I can actually push my nipple out! It still sits inverted but it now has the ability to draw out and almost look like the other side. I will continue to use this until I am 7 months pregnant* and then I will make sure that it is packed in my hospital bag and put it on just before feeding Jelly to help bring the nipple out before latching.
So, I think, after another couple of weeks of using this little device, I will actually be able to feed Jelly! Naturally. On my own! I could not be more proud of myself for persisting with this and actually finding a solution to my problem, without the help of midwives who laugh the problem off. Without the emotions of failure or disappointment. I feel as though I have really achieved something and my fingers will be crossed that the results at the end will be successful.
I know there are some of you who have the same condition as I do so I hope that you will find this helpful for your next baby and breast feeding adventure. I will come back here after Jelly is born and update you on wether it actually worked or not, but at this point the results are remarkable.
**Please note: If you are going to use this device, only use it up to 7 months pregnant, as nipple stimulation can bring on contractions **
Woo hoo, go you! Very excited for you lovely xx
ReplyDeleteThanks Qew! I am so very excited myself
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